Raising children on the field

I stood on the edge of the park, full of mothers playing with their young children, trying to get up the courage to push the stroller into the midst of them. It wasn't so much entering the park that was intimidating, as that I might have to open my mouth. I found a spot on a bench near another mother with a child about the same age as my daughter. As I struggled with my limited language to say a coherent, “Hello, what is your name?”, my daughter was already enjoying playing with the other child, swapping toys and completely comfortable. For me, this was all new and intimidating. For my daughter, this was normal, and this was home.

This story encompasses many moments of my first years on the field. As I struggled through adjusting to life on the field, I encountered this scenario. But after some visits to the park and learning more language, I developed great friendships with local mothers. It was through these friendships and days spent at the park with my children that I learned about being a mother in our country. As I learned, I discovered that motherhood has a lot of commonality. The struggles and joys of motherhood bind us together as women. There are different ways to solve a problem, but our feelings are universal.

Living in a different country and culture, I worry about my children's health, safety, education, and spiritual development. As I interact with mothers in our host culture, as well as here in America, I realize that we all worry about the same things. It reminds me that my situation and my fears are not nearly as unique as I sometimes imagine.

Being a missionary, as well as a mother, does mean that I encounter things that are a little more unique. My children experience a number of difficult transitions which I walk through with them. My daughter said it best when she told Grandma, “Everywhere I am, I miss somebody.” Hearing these words broke my heart for my children, but also made me proud that she embraced those relationships all over the world. In moments like these, I see the opportunities my children have to grow and to encounter God. Of course, when God acts in the lives of my children, I can't help but be moved and reminded of His active love for me as well.

During our first months on the field, I asked God about my children. I told Him that I realized that I was called to live my life as a missionary, but that my children didn't get to make that decision. I felt God speak to me in that moment that I didn't know yet what He was doing and planning to do in their lives. I was encouraged that God would use our life, with all its ups and downs, to shape my children into who He wanted them to be. Not only are they not forgotten, or dragged along, but God has planned this in order to shape my children. As their mother, I help them through all these ups and downs, and God speaks to me as well.

By Mara*